Frustration
by meowmeow996
Summary: Jeff & Dixie are having a bad shift. Dixie is in a foul mood and Jeff just wants to go home. Just as the duo near the end of their shift, disaster strikes. Will the couple come out alive? How much frustration can people cope with before they crack? Reviews hugely appreciated. NOW COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

"Well, here we go again Jeffrey. Another hoax call and a load of time wasted. I am getting sick of these tonight!" Dixie moaned on. They were coming towards the end of their shift which meant that the paramedics were tired and irritable.

They had just came back from a 999 call on Belmere Road as they had been told that a child had been ran over. However, when they arrived, all they found was a dolls head covered in sauce in the centre of the road.

"It really does make me wonder what goes through other peoples head sometimes." Dixie thought as she concluded the conversation about Belmere Road.

As the pair pulled over on a quiet road on the outskirts of Holby, they decided to sit and talk about some of the worst shouts that they've had to attend.

"Well..." Jeff started before taking a large gulp then carrying on with one of his most terrible experiences. "I always remember when that young lad got his hand trapped in the chopper and they couldn't save it. Talk about gory!" Jeff said disgustingly causing a shiver to run down his spine like someone had just walk over his grave.

"Haha, you think that's bad?" Dixie questioned. "That's nothing compared to the time when..." but Dixie was unable to finish as a shout came through the radio causing her attention to focus elsewhere.

"3008. Emergency 999 call to Belmere Road. Caller says that an elderly lady has collapsed on the road side." The person from control explained.

"Okay, 3008 all received and mobile." Dixie replied whilst fastening her seatbelt and clipping her radio back onto her belt.

The ambulance went flying through the streets of Holby like a rocket, dodging all the late night traffic as it headed towards Belmere Road. Dixie turned the ambulance into the familiar street once again and peered down the street. She couldn't see anyone and as she drove further down the street, the image didn't change: no elderly lady collapsed, no teenagers lurking about – no one at all.

"We should have known that this was going to be another hoax call when we heard the address," Dixie started. "Especially as it is half 10 and for some reason I don't really think elderly people will go out for walks at this time, definitely not in this neighbourhood!" Dixie shouted startling Jeff a little.

"Calm down Dix, if they call again we'll tell control to send another unit so they can deal with it ok?" Jeff suggested but his idea did not go down well with Dixie.

"Oh yeah, that's good! So now the hoax calls don't only waste one crews time but two now! No one should bother with them – especially when there are seriously ill people out there needing our help and we're stuck cleaning up dolls heads from roads! When I found out who keeps doing this..." Dixie shouted but was unable to finish as she was just so frustrated. She smashed her hands against the steering wheel before reversing the ambulance so that she could take herself as far away from this street as possible.

"Clear." Jeff said whilst looking out of his window to see if any cars were going to pass through the junction.

"Right, going across." Dixie informed as Jeff nodded his head in agreement, still staring out the window.

Suddenly, when they were half way across the junction, Jeff jumped out of his skin and pointed open-mouthed towards his window. A huge lorry was speeding directly towards the ambulance.

"Dix, swerve! SWERVE!" Jeff shouted as his partner tried her best to swerve but the ambulance was going too fast. The ambulance began to spin on the spot causing the scenery around them to go blurry. The lorry hit the back of the ambulance causing it to stop spinning and lurch forward violently. It skidded across the road sending sparks flying into the air causing cars all around to crash into barriers and cause a huge pile up. The battered ambulance finally stopped skidding and it came to rest on the edge of a ditch.

Cars all around were swerving and trying their best to dodge the chaos mounting up in front of them but it was all happening too fast and this whole disaster was turning into a major accident.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

As people dared to venture outside of their cars, people began to ring for help where as others were too terrified to do anything. However, there was no movement from the dented ambulance on the roadside.

"Jeff?" Dixie asked, her voice all shaky and sounded no louder that a mouse. "Jeffrey?" Dixie asked again but there was no reply. Dixie was staring out of the cracked window, unable to see Jeff face to face, only as a reflection and he didn't look too good. She slowly turned her head and discovered the slumped figure of her partner on the dashboard, blood dribbling from a wound on his head.

"Oh my God, please no!" said a panicked Dixie. "No, no, NO! Jeff? Please answer me!" Dixie began to shout but no voice returned or broke the silence. This was the one time that Dixie wished that Jeff would break the silence with one of his terrible jokes, at least that way she would have known he was ok.

Dixie leaned over and placed two fingers on her partners neck to check for a pulse. "Please let there be something, anything!" Dixie pleaded just as she felt a faint heartbeat.

Dixie turned to the ambulance door nearest her and tried opening the handle but it was no use – it was jammed closed. Dixie moved slowly and steady as far as she could over the stationary body of Jeff and stretched towards his door but it was no good. The ambulance began to quiver and creak causing Dixie to move back suddenly, yelping in pain. A sharp pain had shot up her leg forcing her to examine it more closely as she discovered that her right leg is trapped. Even if she did manage to open a door, it would be useless as neither one of them could move.

As time went by, Dixie had no choice but to sit there. She occasionally checked her partners pulse and was always a bit more hopeful when it was still there. However, Jeff still hadn't moved and was still unconscious and Dixie wasn't looking too good anymore either. The pain in her leg was getting worse making her drowsy, her head was aching causing her to go dizzy whenever she moved and she was getting a bit short on breath.

"This is a great time to have asthma isn't it Dix! And you can't even move to get your inhaler." Dixie said to herself whilst trying her hardest to keep herself awake.

In the distance, the sounds of sirens were beginning to approach spreading a feeling of hope over Dixie. Never in her life had she been so happy to hear the sound of a fellow ambulance.

"Jeff, can you hear that? The cavalry has arrived! We're going to get out of here, please wake up Jeff! Please!" Dixie said desperately. "I can't get through this by myself." It was suddenly dawning on her how close she is to Jeff and how much it is hurting her seeing him like this.

Car doors were opening and being slammed closed as medics frantically hurried about trying to get to the masses of patients.

"Help!" Dixie shouted but was unable to shout again as she was struggling to get her breath. All she could do was sit and listen to the rapid footsteps nearby, hoping that they will find them soon. Dixie could feel her eyes getting heavy, they were beginning to droop, she was going to go to sleep, but just as she closed her eyes a familiar figure appeared from round the rear side of the ambulance saying "Wakey, wakey Dixie, it isn't quite bed time yet!".


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"Wakey, wakey Dixie, it isn't bed time quite yet."

Dixie turned her heavy head round to see who was calling her. She recognised the voice but she was too weak to match it with a person. She opened her eyes and saw the kind face of Tom Kent staring back at her. He peered through the broken window next to Dixie with a look of shock sketched on his face.

"Dixie, can you tell me where it hurts?" Tom said gently.

"My...my leg..." Dixie gasped before continuing, "my chest...is all tight...and my head hurts." Tom looked at her concerningly. Then he spotted Jeff slumped over the dash board.

"Dixie, I'm going to give you this oxygen mask which should help you breath more easily. Can you move your leg at all or is it trapped?" Tom enquired whilst trying to look down at Dixie's leg but not being able to see anything due to the lack of light.

"It's trapped," Dixie said, "but never mind me, what about Jeff? Is he going to be okay?" she asked sounding extremely worried as Jeff was still unconscious and had made no signs of movement whatsoever.

Tom reversed himself out of the window gap and tried to manoeuvre himself round to the other side of the ambulance but as Tom leaned on the back of the ambulance creaking noises erupted from the ambulance.

"Oh no, this doesn't sound good." Tom told himself as he walked along the roadside trying to find a flatter surface to climb down so that he could try and get to Jeff but there wasn't any. All Tom could see was steep slopes which he couldn't climb down safely so he decided he'd be safer waiting for the fire crew. He walked back towards the ambulance to tell Dixie to sit tight and that the fire brigade won't be long when the ambulance began to creak once again.

Tom stood and stared at the ambulance and saw that it was gently wobbling. This was not good. However, he was brought back to reality when he heard the cries of Dixie. Tom rushed over to the ambulance to see what all the commotion was about.

"Tom, I don't like it anymore. What are all the noises?" Dixie asked whilst her eyes darted about looking for a way to get out.

"Calm down Dixie, it's just the ambulance moving a bit – nothing to worry about." Tom said trying to sound reassuring but in the back of his mind he knew that the ambulance wasn't safe and that something was going to happen.

"I really want to get out!" Dixie started to cry. Tom had never seen a paramedic cry before but then he had never seen an ambulance involved in an RTC before.

"Dixie, it'll be fine, just calm down." Tom said softly. He looked behind his shoulder and saw the other paramedics busy moving patients into ambulances and whisking them off to hospital. Then in the distance he spied a group of flashing lights getting nearer – the fire crew.

"Dixie listen...the fire crew are here! You and Jeff will be out in no time." Tom said before turning round where he headed for the fire crew to tell them what they need to do. As Tom got a few metres away, the ambulance began to groan again but this time it was far louder and vicious than it had ever been. Heads all around were turning to stare at the brightly coloured vehicle just as it slid of the top of the ditch. Everyone's eyes were filled with a mass of yellow swirling about. Ears were full of the crashes and bangs as the ambulance flew down the ditch. Moment later everything went silent as the ambulance was now laid peacefully at the bottom of the ditch.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"Oh my God, no!" Tom shouted as he sprinted over towards the edge of the ditch. He looked down the slope with his horror-filled eyes and all he could see was the ambulance containing Jeff and Dixie smashed up into thousands of pieces.

"Dixie!" Tom shouted, "Dixie! Can you hear me?" But there was no reply. The fire crew began ushering Tom out of the way whilst they did the necessary things to make it possible to get down the ditch to the duo. All Tom could do was wait at the roadside until he was shouted to go and help but the longer he sat there, the more and more time dragged and the more and more critical Dixie and Jeff would be getting. Tom needed to get the couple and quick.

"Can I come down yet?" Tom shouted to the fire officers who were already down the ditch.

"Sorry, not yet. We are still stabilising the ambulance as the whole thing could still roll over onto its roof because of the way it's landed. Won't be too long now!" he shouted back before getting back to work.

Tom allowed himself to collapse back onto the road side – all he could do was wait. Thoughts swirled around in his head causing his brain to go into overload. He didn't know what was going to happen to Jeff and Dixie: he didn't know how long he would have to wait before he could treat them. Thoughts kept flooding into his mind but he was whisked away from his thoughts as his phone had began to ring. Tom glanced at the screen to see who was calling. Nick Jordan. Tom thought he had better answer it.

"Hello," said Tom in a dull sounding voice.

"Tom, what's going on? Someone said that an ambulance has been involved. Is it one of ours?" Nick asked enquiringly.

"It's true," Tom replied. "Jeff and Dixie were in the ambulance, Dixie wasn't looking too good and Jeff was unconscious. I was trying to get to Jeff but I couldn't. Next thing the ambulance went over the side and rolled down a ditch." Tom explained. He had never witnessed anything like this before and what made it all worse was that fact that he knew the people involved. Tom classed the duo as his long lost cousins as they were always there to cheer him up and he loved their funny sense of humour.

"Are they okay?" Nick asked sounding rather worried. He hated having to treat members of his staff. Strictly speaking, Jeff and Dixie aren't his staff but Nick treats them like they are as they spend most of their time waltzing in and out of the ED on shouts.

Tom found this question really difficult to answer as he didn't know the answer. "I don't know, I really don't know." Tom finally replied. He was getting extremely worried about the couple and whether or not they would make it. He was beginning to feel like it was his fault. If he hadn't of touched the ambulance in the first place then maybe it might not have moved.

"They're fighters Tom, don't worry." Nick said trying to reassure Tom but it wasn't working.

"Too late for that I already..." Tom started but he paused as he saw a fire officer walking towards him.

"Can I go down yet?" Tom asked sounding impatient. He hated hanging around doing nothing – especially when he knew that two fellow colleagues were in trouble.

"Yes you can but just be careful." The fire officer warned. Tom was about to hurry off to help when he realised that Nick was still on the other end of the phone.

"Sorry about that, they've steadied the ambulance so I can go and help them now. Talk later." Tom hung up before Nick had a chance to say anything else. Tom had already wasted enough time in his eyes and was just wanting to go and help his friends.

He carefully climbed down towards the vehicle. Now that he had got closer, he could see the full extent of the damage even more. It was truly horrific. The entire ambulance was dented and scratched, windows smashed, mirrors snapped off, doors cut open. Tom peered in through the front of the ambulance and saw the outline of two figures – neither of them were moving.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"Hello can you hear me?" Tom asked trying to keep his voice normal, ridding it of any emotion. Tom made his way over to the ambulance and still no one had said anything. Tom came across Jeff first and he placed two fingers against Jeff's neck. Tom let out a sigh of relief – there was a pulse. However, there was a lot of blood dripping from a deep cut on his head and the rest of the damage to his body was unknown. After rummaging around in his medical bag for a while Tom found a dressing which he placed on Jeff's head to try and stop the bleeding.

Suddenly, there was some movement from next to Jeff and Tom saw that Dixie was trying to move.

"Dixie, it's Tom. Try not to move for me please and I will be there in a second to help." Tom said softly whilst packing up his things and manoeuvring himself carefully around to the other side of the ambulance.

"Hey Dix, it's me." Tom said whilst checking on her breathing. It was a bit shallow so he replaced the mask on her face as it must have slid off during the fall. Her leg was still trapped causing her to moan in pain.

"Please help us," Dixie pleaded. "I want to get out!" Tom tried to calm Dixie down by telling her that everything was going to be fine but Dixie was a paramedic and knew that what Tom was saying might not be true as she spoke the exact same words to her patients every single day. Tom was struggling on what to say as he had always thought that the paramedics where the strongest in the team and that nothing scared them as they were constantly out on the front line. They were the ones who got no warning about what they were going to come across next yet Tom was next to a fabulous paramedic who was terrified about what was going to happen and he had no idea on how to deal with it.

As Tom was about to head back round the other side of the vehicle to give Jeff an oxygen mask he heard the familiar little tune coming from him phone. It was Nick again.

"Yes?" Tom said a little bit more aggressively than he intended.

"Are you okay?" replied a concerned Nick. He hadn't heard Tom sound like this before and he was beginning to think that the pressure of having to treat two work colleagues was getting to him and to be honest, Nick wasn't surprised.

"Yeah, of course I am." Tom says trying to sound confident but Nick can sense that he is struggling.

"No you're not. I'm going to send Sam out to assist you. Don't say not to bother because I will still send her whether you like it or not. It's tough treating one friend, never mind two. You're doing really well so far – keep it up." Nick says before hanging up the phone before Tom could say anything back. Tom just stood frozen on the spot not knowing what to think of that phone call.

Tom carried on to treat the duo by administrating some pain relief to Dixie to try and make her more settled, giving Jeff an oxygen mask to help him breath and putting neck collars on both of them to try and prevent any more damage to their necks. Tom was finding it difficult to help them whilst they were in the ambulance as it was a tight squeeze and the only light he had was a few torches propped against various things. He was waiting for the fire crew to tell him when they could begin cutting but they were busy setting up the equipment as it was proving rather difficult on a steep slope in the dark.

Whilst Tom sat there he was beginning to feel grateful towards Mr Jordan for sending Sam out to help him even though she hadn't arrived yet but he knew that she would be on her way. Sam never let anyone down.

A few minutes later Tom heard a car door being slammed shut and the sound of footsteps making their way down from above. Tom turned and saw the familiar face of Dr Sam Nicholls walking towards him. He had never been so happy to see her before.

"Hey, how's it going?" Sam said cheerfully as she walked towards Tom.

"Well, Dixie's breathing isn't too good but the oxygen seems to be keeping it steady for now. Her leg is trapped and she keeps saying that she feels dizzy and that her head hurts. I've given her 5 of morphine. Jeff has been unconscious the entire time and has a large head wound which I've dressed and he is also on oxygen. I don't know about any other injuries because of the poor lighting and I can't really get to them until they are cut out." Tom explained whilst he looked at the expression on Sam's face which showed that she was absorbing the information.

"How long is it going to be before they can get them out?" Sam asked whilst looking round to see what the fire crew were actually doing.

"About 5 minutes and they can start cutting." Tom said as he got up to go and check on Jeff and Dixie. They were both still breathing but were beginning to deteriorate slightly which made Tom feel more worried as all he desperately wanted to do was to help his friends.

"They'll be fine you know," Sam said as if she could read the thoughts that were going through Tom's head. "They've been through worse and have came out stronger than ever before. Don't beat yourself up about it. You weren't to know that this would happen." Sam explained trying to comfort Tom. Then they heard the words they had been waiting for; "You can begin cutting now!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

After what seemed like hours the fire crew finally stopped cutting and began to pack away their equipment. Sam and Tom made their way back over to the ambulance where the full extent of the damage was now clear. They had managed to free Dixie's leg and as Tom took a closer look he could see that it was broken in several places and would definitely need surgery when they got her back to Holby but apart from that there seemed to be no other obvious injuries.

However, when they moved over and checked on Jeff they could see straightaway that he was bleeding from somewhere other than his head. As they checked over him they found that he had a puncture wound to his side where a bit of metal was pierced into his skin. It also looked like he had a broken arm and the possibility of internal bleeding.

Tom sent one of the paramedics on scene to go and get a couple of spinal boards ready for when they transported the duo to the ambulances so that they can get them to Holby but Tom had no idea on who to get out first. At first he though Jeff as she was still unconscious and had the possibility of internal bleeding as well as a puncture wound but then Dixie had a severe leg injury and was having difficulty with her breathing due to her asthma and the possibility that she had several broken ribs.

"We need to make a decision Tom – and quick." Sam said whilst looking back and forth at the couple. Tom was beginning to freak out. He really didn't know who to chose – both were friends, colleagues and pretty much family to him.

"Tom? Who's to go to Holby first?" Sam prompted but Tom lost it.

"I don't know!" Tom shouted, "How am I meant to chose between them? They both have severe injuries and they are both friends – it's an impossible decision to make!"

"Hey, hey, calm down." Sam said whilst walking over to the scared doctor. She had never seen Tom freak out like this before but then again he had never had to care for two friends before, especially with such drastic injuries in such horrible circumstances.

"Sorry, it's just all getting too much for me." Tom explained whilst giving his body a shake trying to get himself back into the mode of things.

"Right, let's take Jeff first since he hasn't regained consciousness throughout this." Sam decided whilst walking to collect one of the spinal boards off the paramedic.

"Right. One the count of three I want you to help me slide Jeff onto the board okay?" Sam explained.

"Okay." Tom said but he didn't sound too confident. All he could think of was what if Jeff didn't make it. It would be his fault.

"On three. One, two, three!" But Tom froze and didn't do anything. Sam turned and stared at him.

"Come on Tom – focus! You can do this." She said and Tom looked at her and she could see that he now had the determined shine back in his eyes that she was used to seeing. He was back and focused.

"Again on three. One, two three!" Sam shouted and the medics both managed to slide Jeff carefully onto the spinal board where they strapped him in and carefully carried him up the steep slope and placed him gently into the back of the ambulance.

"Do you want to go with him?" Sam asked whilst clipping all the necessary wires into the plugs and connecting them to Jeff causing the monitor to bleep into life.

"No, I want to make sure Dixie gets out safely. You go with him and I'll come in with Dixie." Tom says and he turns his back and climbs out of the ambulance to go and help Dixie. As he walked away, he turned and took one last look at Jeff. This could be the last time he sees him alive.

"Dixie?" Tom calls as he gets nearer the ambulance but there was no response. Tom's immediate thought was that she had deteriorated and stopped breathing. He ran over to the ambulance and began to shout her name repeatedly. He was about to check for a pulse when Dixie began to stir.

"What's all the shouting about? I do have a banging headache you know!" Dixie replied jokingly whilst trying to get her breath back.

"I...I...never mind." Tom replied whilst wiping the sweat from his forehead. She must have dozed off whilst waiting. After all she had been sat there for ages waiting and it was now well past midnight so she was bound to be tired.

"It's time to get you out," Tom explained. "Me and a couple of the fire crew are going to put you onto a spinal board on the count of three okay?"

"Okay." Dixie replied and she closed her eyes. She was obviously scared about being moved.

"Right. One, two, three!" Tom shouted and they carefully glided her onto the spinal board. As they moved her, she let out a couple of cries of pain but she soon settled down once she was on the board. They gently carried her into the back of an ambulance where Tom stayed with her whilst they travelled to Holby.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Sam sat in the back of the ambulance and could do nothing but sit and wait. She hated the waiting game. As she sat there, all she could think about was the memories that she had with Jeff. He was such a fun bloke; always willing to do karaoke at the pub and is one of those people who fires jokes out randomly in hope of getting a few laughs. The ambulance ride seemed to be taking forever and all Sam longed for was Jeff to wake up and tell her that this whole thing had been a joke. But instead he just laid there – all limp on the bed.

Meanwhile, in the other ambulance Dixie was getting all upset. She was scared about what was going to happen to her and Jeff and whether or not they would make it.

"Dixie, calm down! You're not helping yourself or Jeff by getting into a state are you?" Tom said gently.

"You're right, I'm not." Dixie agreed and began to try and calm herself down but as Dixie knows, it is sometimes easier said than done.

"We'll be at Holby in a few minutes and you'll be able to see Jeff again and you know fine well that he will be in good hands." Tom said reassuringly to try and calm not only Dixie down but himself. Tom was thinking that this must be one of his worst shifts ever and what he wanted to know more than anything was if Jeff and Dixie would be okay and how other people cope with things like this.

Sam's ambulance pulled into the ambulance bays at Holby City ED where Nick Jordan and Zoe Hanna were stood waiting to help them. They unloaded Jeff from the ambulance and carefully wheeled him into Resus.

"Right. We have Jeff Collier who has been involved in an RTC. Ambulance verse Lorry. He has a deep head wound, puncture wound to his side, possible neck and spine injuries, possible internal bleeding and a broken arm which I have immobilised. He has had 5 of morphine to be on the safe side and has been unconscious throughout." Sam explained to the rest of her colleagues.

"Ambulance verse Lorry?" Zoe said looking gobsmacked as she looked from Nick then back to Sam.

"Yep, a witness said that the lorry came speeding towards the ambulance causing it to spin round and hit other cars and it finally stopped at the top of a ditch but later on in the evening it lost balance and rolled down the ditch before Tom could get them out." Sam explained causing the room to go completely silent.

"Come on guys, we need to get to work. I want ABCs, LFTs, U and E. We need a CT scan and x-rays." Nick instructed whilst everyone got to work to try and help Jeff as best as they could.

Suddenly the Resus doors burst open again as Dixie was wheeled in. Everyone in the room turned to look at her and saw that she wasn't looking much better than Jeff.

Nick walked over and began to assess Dixie who was staring over the room at Jeff, he eyes began to fill up with tears which rolled down her face.

"We also need LFTs, U and E, CT scan and x-rays over here as well please. Someone needs to book theatre for the pair as well." Nick shouted to his team who carried out his instructions straight away.

"Tom, Sam. Come here please." Nick called over and the pair walked over to him.

"Why don't you both go for a break? You have both had a tough shout – go have a cuppa and a sit down and I will call you if I need you or if anything changes." Nick told them and they both headed out of Resus into the main reception and walked towards the staff room.

When they got there neither of them wanted a coffee. Tom paced up and down the room whilst Sam just sat and stared into space. They had both had to treat loved ones or colleagues before but this was different. Everyone in the ED had a soft spot for both Jeff and Dixie. They were the people who were constantly drifting in and out of the ED, always had some gossip, always up for a laugh and a good time.

"This is awful."Tom said. Sam wasn't sure whether he was talking to her or whether he was thinking out loud. Sam decided that she would say something back – after all she didn't want him to think that she was ignoring him.

"I know it is, but stay positive! They will make it through this. All we can do is stay strong for them and hopefully it will help them." Sam explained just as the door to the staff room opened. Sam shot up from her seat as she saw Mr Jordan walking towards her. Tom turned round and walked over towards them both. The look on his face was not good.

"I think you two had better come back into Resus as Jeff is taking a turn for the worst. I understand if you would rather stay here but I thought that you both ought to know." Nick explained before turning and walking out of the door.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

Tom and Sam both raced towards the door, down the corridor and barged straight into Resus. The duo stared open mouthed around the room at the scene. Nick and Zoe were rushing around Jeff ordering the nurses about to try and help him the best they could; many other members of staff from the hospital were huddled into the room to see whether Jeff was going to make it and then there was Dixie. No one could look as petrified as she did.

"He's not going to make it is he?" Dixie asked quietly. Everyone in the room went silent and looked towards her. Nick walked over to where Dixie was in her bed and looked into her eyes. He could see the frustration, terror and shock that filled her eyes as well as the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I don't know Dixie but we've got to keep trying. We can't give up on him yet." Nick said whilst making sure that his gaze never left Dixie's eyes. He could see how much Dixie and everyone else in the room cared for Jeff. This is one reason why Nick loved to manage this ED so much because everyone cares for each other and when something terrible like this happens, everyone pulls together to help each other through.

"He's stopped breathing!" Zoe shouted which brought Nick whirling back from his thoughts as he rushed over to assist in the CPR. The whole room was silent as everyone watched anxiously as to whether or not he would pull through this. No one dared to take a breath in case the slight noise disrupted anything. All eyes were glued to Jeff's bed and as time went by there was no change. The chance of Jeff coming back was getting slimmer and slimmer. After half an hour of the room being filled with a continuous bleep, Nick finally broke the silence.

"I think we should call it," Nick said grimly whilst the members of staff closed to the bed shook their heads in agreement. "Time of death 3:07am." Nick said before letting out a deep sigh and leaving the room to tell the crowd of people huddled outside the door. Jeff certainly was a popular guy who is going to be missed.

The room remained silent but was beginning to get filled with sobs. Dixie however just sat there unable to do anything. She was shocked by it all and couldn't believe that Jeff had gone.

"Dixie, I am so sorry." Sam said when she arrived by her bedside but Dixie just sat in silence and didn't acknowledge that Sam was even there. Sam was about to say something just as Nick re-entered the room.

"I know that you are all upset and shocked by today's events but I think we should all leave and give Dixie some time to herself to say goodbye." Nick suggested whilst struggling to hold back his own tears. People began to leave the room whilst mopping up tears from their eyes and cuddling each other.

Nick and Dixie were now the only people left in the room. Nick made his way over to Dixie who was still sat in a state of utter disbelief.

"I'm going to help you into a wheelchair so that you can go and sit by Jeff whilst you say your final words." Nick said gently whilst lowering the sides of her bed and helping to guide her into the wheelchair. As Nick wheeled Dixie over to Jeff's bedside he saw that what was left of the colour in her face suddenly drained leaving her a ghostly white.

"I will be back in a while to check on you." Nick said before turning and walking out of the room.

At first, Dixie just sat there not knowing what to say or do. She knew she was married to him but she didn't do that because she loved him, it was to try and show to her Dad that she was happy before he died but after today Dixie knew that she did feel something for Jeff and that that feeling will never be replaced. She turned herself to face Jeff and grabbed hold of the hand nearest her – it was still warm. A single tear began to roll down her pale face and suddenly she thought of everything that she wanted to say to Jeff over the years but was never able to.

"What am I going to do with without you Jeffrey?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Why did this have to happen to you Jeff? Why? I wish I could swap places with you – I really do. You have more to live for than me. You have John and Sophie and..." but Dixie was unable to continue. His kids. How will they cope with this? They hadn't seen their Dad in a while as things had gone a bit awkward between them but now they will never get the opportunity to sort things out or to even see him again. Those poor kids.

"I thought that you me that we would grow old together and have wheelchair races and walking stick fights," Dixie said and she even let out a little chuckle at the thought. "But how wrong you were."

By this point Dixie had began to let even more tears roll down her cheeks. All she could think about was the time that her and Jeff wouldn't be able to have together. They had always said that they would grow old together along with Little Abs. A voice appeared in the back of Dixie's head as she thought about what he would think of this whole situation. "I thought you would have been happy princess? It means that you don't have to spend the rest of your life with an old geezer like me anymore, you can go out and find yourself a new lady friend!" The thought of Jeff saying this made Dixie cry even harder and she decided one thing there and then.

"I am never going to replace you Jeffrey Collier." Dixie sobbed. She had never realised till now how close she actually was to Jeff. Not only was he her husband, but he was like a brother and a best friend.

"There is one good thing about this – I don't have to listen to your rubbish jokes anymore." Dixie said whilst thinking back to all the terrible jokes he had said in the past that he thought were hilarious.

As Dixie sat there she thought about all the times she had been with Jeff and about all the good memories that they have shared together over the years.

"I remember when me and you first started working together and I thought you were the biggest and most annoying sod that I'd ever met. Never in my dreams would i have thought we would end up married and me crying a river over you at your bedside when all I wanted to do back then was shoot you!" Dixie explained whilst letting out a weak smile at the memory.

Suddenly, the Resus door opened and Nick sneaked into the room and walked over towards Dixie.

"I'm so sorry to have to do this but you're going to have to say your final goodbyes as theatre are waiting for you upstairs." Nick explained just before stepping back to allow Dixie to say what was necessary.

"I love you Jeffrey Collier and I am actually going to miss you like crazy." Dixie said softly between her sobs. She lifted up Jeff's pale hand and kissed it gently before placing it back onto the bed. She turned herself in her wheelchair to face Nick.

"I'm ready." And with that Nick wheeled her out of Resus and though the masses of people outside in the corridor and into the lift.

As Dixie laid on the operating table nodding off to sleep, she heard Jeff's voice again in the back of her mind saying "I love you princess."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

Nick returned back to the ED after leaving Dixie to have her operation. He could feel the upset in the atmosphere as soon as the lift door slid open. Nick made his way towards the staff room where he suspected most of his team would be. He reached the door to the staff room but couldn't bring himself to open it. All the team would turn to him for comfort and support – after all he is their leader – but he had no idea on what to say to them. It was always horrible losing a close friend and colleague as it affected everyone in the ED in some shape or form regardless of whether they were close to the person or not. But what made the whole situation worse was that another fellow colleague was laid upstairs on an operating table and no one knew how she was.

Finally, after standing there for several minutes thinking, Nick got the courage he needed and opened the door. As he walked in his ears were filled with the sound of sobbing. He looked around the room and saw people hugging and crying into each other's shoulders and several boxes of tissues flying around the room.

This is why Nick loves the people who work in this ED so much. Everyone is so caring and supportive to each other making it a really special place: not only for the patients but also for the people who work there and when something horrible happens like it did today, everyone is there for each other and you can see how valuable each person is to the ED.

Nick walked into the crowd of devastated people and clapped his hands together causing the people around him to turn and look at him with teary eyes.

"Okay everyone," Nick started, "I won't keep you for long as I know that today has been an awful shift for everyone. i just want to say that Jeff was an amazing paramedic who never failed at cheering people up and he was tragically taken from us today doing the job that he loved. I know you will all be shaken by today's events but just remember one thing – Jeff was a fun guy and he wouldn't want anyone to be upset. Now, will you join me and raise a glass to the greatest paramedic I ever knew. Jeff Collier!" The room was filled with people shouting Jeff's name and Nick took this opportunity to sneak out of the staff room. Whilst he made his speech he noticed that neither Sam or Tom were there and he wondered where on Earth they could be.

"Noel?" Nick shouted as he walked past reception, "Have you seen Sam or Tom?"

"No sorry," Noel replied, "But if I do see them I will tell them you are looking for them."

"Thanks." Nick said as he walked off and continued his search for the pair.

After searching through cubicles, admin, the pharmacy and the car park, there is only one place left for them to be – Resus. Nick headed towards Resus and peered through the door to see Tom and Sam sat cleaning up Jeff whilst both letting silent tears stream down their faces. Nick watched as the duo draped a fresh blanket over the still body and then they both sat either side of his bed and cried.

Nick thought it would be best to give the young doctors a minute to themselves to let all their tears out as Nick suspects they had been trying to hold them in for a while. As Nick stood outside the Resus door he thought he would go and ring upstairs and see whether or not Dixie was out of theatre yet as she should nearly be done. Nick walked over to admin and picked up one of the phones and dialled in the number for theatre.

"Hello?" A man said from the other end of the phone.

"Hi, I'm ringing up to see how Kathleen Dixon got on in theatre?" Nick said and then there was a long pause before the man began to speak again.

"She is still in theatre as there has been a complication. That is as much as I know, sorry. All I can suggest to do is call back in a while and we should hopefully have some more details for you then."

"Okay thank you." Nick managed to say before placing the phone back on the holder. Complications were never good in theatre and all Nick could think about is whether or not she would survive as he couldn't bear the thought of having to tell his team that another well loved colleague had died.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Nick really didn't know what to do. He didn't know whether to go upstairs to see for himself what was happening or whether to tell everyone so that they could brace themselves but Nick decided that for now, he would keep this information to himself.

He walked back towards Resus to find Tom and Sam still in there but they were no longer sat either side of the bed. They were stood at the end cuddling and comforting each other. Nick didn't really want to interrupt the pair but since he was clinical lead he felt that it was his job to make sure that everyone was okay – well, as okay as can be expected under the circumstances.

Nick slowly opened the Resus door and gently closed it behind him as he didn't want to startle Sam and Tom. When he entered the room, Sam lifted up her head whilst wiping away her tears. The duo walked over towards Nick, trying their hardest to pull themselves together and act professional.

"How are you two holding together?" Nick said gently. Sam turned and looked at Tom who just stood there and didn't reply. Nick could see that they were struggling to keep themselves together.

"I'm not too bad," Sam finally replied. "I'm just devastated about Jeff and worried about Dixie but I'll be okay." Sam explained and she even managed to force out a weak smile.

In some ways Nick admired Sam as she could always keep focused on a job in any type of situation regardless of whether or not she knew the patient and Nick always wondered how she did it. He guessed that it must be from being in the army and being on the front line all the time and treating the many soldiers in her camp. However, she still had a soft side even though few people had seen it as she liked to keep herself professional whilst at work.

As Nick returned from his thoughts he realised that Tom still hadn't answered. Nick turned his gaze to look at Tom and saw that he was looking at neither of them but continuously stared at the floor.

"Is it okay if I go to the staff room? I want to see how the others are baring up." Sam asked making sure that Nick didn't want anything else before she left. She was going to ask how Dixie was but she didn't feel that it was the right time as something was really wrong with Tom and she didn't know what so she thought it was best that she left Nick to try and get it out of Tom.

"Yeah, of course," Nick replied whilst nodding his head. "One thing before you go. I just want to say a big thank you for today Sam, it was a great help." Nick explained whilst giving Sam a friendly smile.

"You're welcome." Sam said and she turned and walked out of Resus where she headed towards the staff room where most of her colleagues were still at, patiently waiting for news about Dixie.

Even after Sam had left, Tom still stood there staring at the floor in a world of his own. Nick wasn't quite sure what to say as he was certain that he had many thoughts whizzing about in his head. Finally, Tom looked up from the floor and looked into Nick's eyes.

"It was my fault that Jeff died." Tom said quietly. Nick was taken by surprise by what he had just heard and was wondering how on Earth it was Tom's fault.

"How is it Tom?" Nick asked whilst looking deeply into Tom's eyes. Instead of them dazzling with enthusiasm and friendliness they were dull and empty.

"I touched the ambulance just before it fell. It was my fault that it rolled down that ditch. If I hadn't of touched it, Jeff would still be here." Tom said before turning away as he began to pace around the room.

"Tom, it was an accident and if it was anyone's fault, it would be the lorry drivers for not checking where he was going. You weren't to know that the ambulance was going to fall and you don't know if Jeff would have survived or not. Especially since he was unconscious the whole time so the full extent of his injuries were unknown." Nick explained trying to make Tom feel less guilty but he wasn't sure whether or not it was working.

"But it could have made a difference and if I hadn't of touched it he might still have been here but we'll never get to find out now because I made the ambulance fall." Tom said but this time as he said it tears were beginning to build up in his eyes causing them to shine in the light.

"That's exactly my point Tom - we'll never get to find out! So please stop beating yourself up about it as nothing we say or do can change the past. All we can do now is try and stay positive for Dixie's sake as she is going to need us more than ever now." Nick said and as he said it he could feel a lump building up in his throat – he didn't know how much longer he could keep the news about Dixie to himself.

Tom stopped pacing the room and placed himself into a nearby stool. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and let out a large sigh. He turned once again to look at Nick.

"I suppose you're right, Dixie needs us and were not going to be much good blaming ourselves and being upset," Tom said whilst trying to pull himself back together. "Have you heard anything about Dixie yet or not?" Tom asked enquiringly.

"No, not yet but I'm sure she'll be fine." Nick said trying to sound reassuring but underneath he felt so terrible lying to Tom. Dixie was his friend and colleague and he had a right to know as well as the rest of the team but Nick couldn't bring himself to tell them yet – not until he knew fully what was going on. The news was tearing him upside inside but he had to stay strong. He just had to.

"I'm going to go to the staff room for a bit," Tom said to Nick as he got up and headed towards the Resus door. "You coming?"

"Ermm...I will in a minute." Nick replied and he stood there and watched as Tom walked out of Resus and towards the staff room. Nick didn't know what to do and as every minute passed he felt worse and even more guilty for not telling his team. Suddenly, Nick thought that enough was enough and burst out of Resus leaving the ghostly body of Jeff to rest and marched towards the staff room.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Nick once again opened the door into the staff room and saw that even more people had joined the crowd. They had managed to work out that Dixie should be coming out of theatre anytime now and were all eagerly awaiting for news.

"Nick!" someone shouted as he entered the room and Nick instantly knew who the voice belonged to. Zoe. Nick walked over towards her and saw the streaks in her makeup from where the tears had rolled down her face and how red and puffy her eyes were from crying.

"Have you heard anything from upstairs yet about Dixie?" Zoe asked, her voice all shaky and croaky from all the crying. Nick looked round the room at all of his team. How was he supposed to tell them? They'd already had enough grief and disappoint for one day without him landing this on them too as many of them were still upset about Jeff as well as being out of their mind with worry about Dixie. He turned his gaze back to Zoe and saw that fresh tears were sparking in her eyes as she fought to hold them back.

"Err...no, not yet." Nick finally managed to reply, trying to keep his voice sounding normal and confident but he knew that Zoe would see right through him as she knew him too well – after all she had been out with him and they still remained as really close friends.

"Nick, don't lie to me," Zoe said firmly. She hated it when people hid things from her, especially when it is as something as important as this. She looked into Nick's eyes and could see that something was playing on his mind and she knew that it involved Dixie but why wouldn't he tell her.

"Fine I'll tell you but come up to my office as I don't want everyone finding out yet." Nick explained before crossing the room where he stood and propped the door open whilst he waited for Zoe. As he stood there, he could see Sam looking at him and he reckoned that she could sense that something was going on. She was going to walk over to Nick to ask but Nick mouthed "later" at her and she turned back to Tom and got into a conversation with him.

As Zoe and Nick walked to Nick's office they both remained silent. They entered the office and went and sat on the sofa near the door and Nick made sure that the door was fully closed before he continued speaking.

"It's Dixie." Nick said and he could hear his voice beginning to crack as he said her name. He was struggling to keep himself together and he felt like just telling Zoe to go and just sitting alone in his office and letting everything out but he had to explain to someone what was happening with Dixie – he just had to no matter how much it pained him to say the words.

"Is she okay?" Zoe asked between biting her lip. She was dreading the answer to this question as she could sense that it wasn't good as it takes a lot to get Nick emotional.

"I phoned theatre to see how she was getting on and they said that she was having complications." Nick explained whilst taking deep breathes. He was determined not to cry until he knew for definite what was going to happen. He looked at Zoe's face and could see the worry that filled her. After sitting in silence for a while as Zoe took in what had been said she finally got her voice back.

"What sort of complications? Will she be okay?" Nick knew that she would ask this question but he didn't know.

"I don't know Zoe. They said to ring back in a bit as they would have more information but I can't bring myself to do it. What if it's bad Zoe? How would I tell everyone that another colleague and friend had died?" Nick said and he could feel tears leaking out of his eyes.

"Hey, come here!" Zoe said and she pulled Nick towards her and they both comforted each other and gave each other a shoulder to cry on. After letting out some of the emotions that they had been bottling up all shift, they pulled themselves together.

"Nick, I know you don't want to do this but it's the only way you're going to find out what is going on. You're going to have to call them back." Zoe explained as she walked over to his desk where his phone was. She picked it up and dialled the number for theatre, pressed call and passed the phone to Nick before he could argue back with her. The phone rang and rang until finally someone picked up.

"Hello, it's Nick Jordan from the ED. I'm ringing up to see how Kathleen Dixon got on in theatre?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Hello, it's Nick Jordan from the ED. I'm ringing up to see how Kathleen Dixon got on in theatre?" Nick asked trying to get rid of the worry in his voice.

"if you bare with me for a moment I will just go and find out." The voice from the other end of the phone said. As Nick waited for him to return with news, Nick got more and more nervous about what the outcome would be. All he hoped for was that she would be okay and would make a full recovery.

Whilst Nick waited for what seemed like hours, he looked over to Zoe who was sat chewing on her nails looking extremely nervous. They caught gaze for a few seconds but both turned away as neither of them knew what to say to one another. Then finally the man returned to the phone.

"As you are aware she suffered some complications in theatre but it was all sorted out and she is fine and she should make a full recovery." The person said to Nick who let out a sigh of relief. He looked over to Zoe who was staring at him, waiting patiently for news about Dixie.

"Thank you very much." Nick said happily back to the man before placing his phone back onto his desk. He looked up and saw that Zoe's eyes had not left him.

"How is she then?" Zoe asked shakily. She really hoped that she would be okay as she couldn't cope with the death of another colleague – not on the same day.

"She's fine so you can stop worrying. She is going to be okay!" Nick said cheerfully as he put his arms around Zoe who was now crying tears of joy as she was so happy that Dixie was going to be okay.

After sitting there for a while, allowing themselves to absorb the good news after a dreadful shift, they decided to go back to the staff room to tell everyone else the good news as they would still be in there patiently waiting.

Zoe and Nick walked down the stairs that led to the ED with grins plastered on their faces. Zoe was feeling a bit guilty for being this happy since it wasn't long ago that Jeff had passed away but she was just so happy that Dixie was going to be okay that she couldn't help herself.

The pair entered the staff room where it was completely silent and people were still huddled into each other.

"I bring good news." Nick said as he walked into the masses of people in the room. Many people were still stood in silence but were giving Nick puzzled looks. Tess looked round at Nick and finally clicked on what he was on about.

"You mean that Dixie is going to be alright?" Tess said excitedly whilst putting her mug of coffee on the side so that she didn't spill it.

"That's it exactly Tess." Nick said plainly as he watched smiles spread over everyone's faces in there. More tears flowed but Nick knew that they were tears of relief and happiness and he just stood and took in the views around him. He knew that it would take a while to get over the events of this shift and that it felt wrong to celebrate so soon after a death of a colleague but Nick knew that Jeff would want everyone to be happy and that he would be celebrating somewhere up there as he knew that his wife would carry on living her life.

"Listen up everyone!" Nick shouted suddenly making everyone's attention turn to him once again. "Since it is the end of a bad shift, I think we should all meet outside the ED in 10 minutes to go to the pub and celebrate Dixie's good news. I know many of you will still be upset about Jeff as I still am but he would want us to have a good time and to celebrate good news. I will buy the first round and when we get there we shall dedicate that round to Jeff – especially since it was his turn to buy us a round and he has managed to get out of it the lucky man!" Nick said as several people around him let out a few chuckles. "That is all from me apart from a huge thank you to every single one of you. You all did brilliantly today."

As Nick finished people started to get their belongings from lockers and headed outside to meet before heading to the pub. Nick watched as people carried on with their lives even after all the devastation of today and the more he thought about it, the more he loved the people in his team, this ED and he knew that they could face anything head on as long as they stuck together.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Nick walked out of the ED and saw the group of people who were waiting for him so they could go to the pub and celebrate after a gruelling night shift. He walked over to the group who all started to cheer as he neared them.

"What's all the cheering about?" Nick asked sounding confused. He had no idea at all why they were cheering.

"Because you've finally turned up!" Zoe shouted. "You said to meet in ten minutes but we've all been stood here waiting for twenty. We were beginning to think you'd done a runner to get out of buying us a round!" Zoe explained as she grinned at the expression on Nick's face.

"Oh, sorry! I was deep in thought and must have lost track of time," Nick replied and he saw the look on Zoe's face change. He knew that she was curious to know what he had been thinking about. "And before you ask, I was just thinking about what an amazing team of people I have and how much you all deserve this drink." Nick explained before returning to the rest of the group.

"Come on then, let's go!" Nick shouted and Nick, Zoe, Sam, Tom, Tess, Noel and a few others headed over the road to their local pub. They walked through the door and greeted the landlord who knew the group very well as they were in there near enough every day after work and walked over to the corner of the pub where they always sat.

"Right, what's everyone having?" Nick asked as he walked round and got orders off everyone before he walked over to the bar and read out the list of drinks. Nick watched as the barmaid poured the drinks and placed them on a tray, making it easier for Nick to carry back to the table. It felt odd not having Jeff and Dixie here as they were always telling people jokes and making people laugh but it wouldn't be long before Dixie was back with them but unfortunately Jeff wouldn't. They would just have to get used to it no matter how hard it is.

Nick walked back over to the table with the tray full of drinks and dished them out before sitting back down. He looked round and saw that Sam and Tom were having a conversation and seemed to be cheering up slightly after today's events, Tess and Noel seemed to be sharing a joke and were sat chuckling in the corner. Zoe turned to Nick and saw that he was in his own world and just decided to leave him to it.

Nick came back from his thoughts and turned and got into a conversation with Zoe who was telling him that he should make a speech.

"I've already made two speeches today, I wouldn't know what to say!" Nick snapped at her sounding horrified by the idea of making a third speech. Zoe looked at him, trying to hold in her laughing as he sounded like a kid moaning about something that they didn't want to do.

"Just say how you wish that Jeff was here and that it won't be long before Dixie will be joining us and how we should support Dixie as much as we can as she is going to miss Jeff a lot." Zoe explained and Nick put down his drink, raised out of his chair and cleared his throat.

"I know you'll be sick of me and my speeches by now but I promise you that this is the last one. Firstly, I would like to say on behalf of everyone here how much we are going to miss Jeff and that he should still be sat here with us now along with Dixie having a laugh and getting extremely drunk with us. However, due to a tragic accident he passed away so I would like us to take a moment to remember him." Nick said before pausing for a moment to allow people to remember their friend and colleague who will be sorely missed. "I would also like to say that we should all try and support Dixie as much as possible as she is going to be the person affected the most by Jeff's death and will need her friends round her. Hopefully it won't be long before she is joining us in here again for a drink or two after work." Nick concluded before sitting back down and returning to his drink. Even though Nick had to make speeches quite frequently to his staff, he never enjoyed doing it, even if it was to congratulate them.

As the night went on, Nick began to relax and have some well deserved fun with his friends who were all doing stupid things in honour of Jeff who would have found the whole thing absolutely hilarious.

"Nick it's your turn!" Zoe shouted who was getting rather merry as she was gulping down drinks without a care in the world.

"I think I'll pass this time round thanks." Nick said whilst walking away from Zoe and headed towards the bar where Tess and Sam were stood. He was still recovering from the last challenge he got set.

"Oh come on Nick!" Zoe shouted at him so that he could smell the alcohol in her breath. "Stop being a spoil sport!"

"Oh alright then but this is the last time." Nick explained. He knew that if he didn't do it Zoe would just annoy him all night and end up doing something worse to him just to embarrass him and get him back for being a grouch.

Nick headed over to the dance floor where all the fun and games were happening and was constantly getting checked on by a wobbly Zoe who kept turning round to see if he was still following. Just as Nick got there he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He got it out of his pocket and saw that it was Charlie ringing him and thought that he had better answer it.

"Hello?" Nick shouted down the phone but he couldn't tell whether Charlie had replied or not as he couldn't hear anything over the music. He mouthed to Zoe that he had to go and take the call and battled his way over the dance floor to the quieter area of the pub where he could actually hear himself speak.

"Sorry about that Charlie. Zoe was trying to get me to take part in some stupid..." But Nick was cut short by Charlie.

"Sorry to ruin your night but the post-op ward have just called down to say that something has happened with Dixie and that she is taking a turn for the worst." Charlie explained causing Nick's heart to beat twice as fast and all the colour to drain out of his face. "I just thought you ought to know." Charlie added at the end as he got no response from Nick.

"When did this happen?" Nick asked sounding extremely worried.

"Just now. I called you as soon as I put the phone down on them." Charlie explained and he could tell how worried Nick was. Everyone thought that she was going to be fine and just as they begin to celebrate something like this would happen.

"Okay Charlie. I'm coming back over now. I want to go and see what is happening for myself." Nick explained before flipping his phone closed and placing it back in his pocket. He glanced over at everyone still having a good time and he thought that there was no need to ruin their night until he knew exactly what was going on so he walked over to the door and slipped out of the pub and back over to the hospital before anyone realised that he had gone.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

Nick walked through the ED door and was greeted by Charlie. Nick didn't say anything to him but signalled for him to follow him up to his office. They walked through the door and Nick went and sat behind his desk whilst Charlie sat opposite. Nick was determined to keep himself composed and professional.

"I'm sorry you had to find out over the phone but I thought I had better tell you." Charlie explained whilst Nick sat at his desk with his head in his hands. Charlie knew that Nick was worried and really hoped that this wouldn't have happened.

"I'm glad you told me. I would have hated to be over there celebrating whilst this was happening." Nick explained whilst rummaging about in his pocket in search of his phone. Charlie looked at him and wondered what he was doing. He watched as Nick searched through his phone and could see his thumb glide on and off the call button as if he was debating whether or not to call the person or not.

"What are you doing?" Charlie asked whilst staring at the phone to try and see who's number was on the screen but it was no good as the light from the lamp was reflecting off it.

"Me?" Nick said as though he had just been whisked away from his thoughts and was clarifying that Charlie was talking to him before he carried on. "I'm going to call Zoe and tell her what has happened as I'm sure they would all like to know what is going on." Nick explained as his thumb hovered over the green button. But then a thought popped into his head. Just before he left the pub, Zoe was already rather merry so she would no doubt be out of it by now so Nick thought that it wouldn't be wise to ring her. But who was he going to call?

Charlie sat there watching Nick. He had said that he was going to call Zoe about five minutes ago but he still hadn't. Charlie knew what it was extremely difficult having to call someone up to say that a friend and fellow colleague had taken a turn for the worst when people had just started celebrating.

"Nick, do you want me to do it?" Charlie offered but Nick just shook his head.

"It's not the fact that I can't do it, I just don't know who to call!" Nick exclaimed causing Charlie to jump a bit.

"I thought you were going to call Zoe?" Charlie asked confusingly. He was beginning to lose track of what was happening.

"I was but she was merry when I left her so I dread to think what she is like now so she isn't exactly the best person to call." Nick exclaimed whilst getting up and pacing around the room.

"Well, why don't you call someone else?" Charlie suggested and he could Nick's brain going into overload as he thought about who to ring. It was turning out to be a really tough time for Nick and even though it affected everyone in some shape or form, it was really taking its toll on Nick.

"I'm going to call Sam." Nick suddenly said. He scanned the numbers on his phone until he came across her number and he knew that she would still be sober as she didn't like to drink that much after work. He was about to call her when he realised that Charlie was still sat in the room looking at him.

"I don't mean to sound rude or anything Charlie but would you mind waiting outside or something whilst I do this as I'd prefer just to do it by myself?" Nick explained.

"Yeah, sure," Charlie said and he got up and walked over to the door and opened it. "I'll just be down in the ED if you need me." Charlie explained and he walked out the room and Nick watched as he pasted the office window and out of sight.

Nick pressed the button on the phone and listened to it as it rung. He then heard the familiar voice of Sam answer.

"Hey Nick, what's up? Where did you disappear off to?" Sam said casually and Nick could hear the background noise fading as Sam moved to a quieter area of the bar so that she could hear him properly. Nick froze and didn't know what to say but Charlie had managed and so could he so he thought he would just go for it.

"Sam. I'm so sorry to have to ruin your night but post-op have rang down to say that Dixie has taken a turn for the worst. I was going to ring Zoe and get her to tell everyone but I didn't think that would be wise due to the state she is in and you were the first person I thought of." Nick explained and he could hear Sam getting all teary down the other end of the phone.

"It's fine. I will tell them now so I suspect that most of them will head back over to you to wait for news." Sam explained as she tried to pull herself together.

"Thanks." Nick replied and he hung up the phone. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't everything have just been alright?


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Sam placed her phone back into her pocket and stood glued to the spot. She couldn't believe that Dixie had got worse and that it was her job to tell everyone else. The only good thing about his was that at least she knew that Nick trusted her – other than that it was all bad.

Sam was going to start edging back towards the group but she couldn't. She didn't know whether to gather everyone together and tell them as a group or whether to do it individually as others were more drunk than some and people would react in different ways.

After several minutes of thinking, she decided to head back to the group before they began to wonder where she had gone. She decided to tell people in two groups as one group were on the dance floor looking a bit out of it where as the other group were more sober and were hanging about at the bar chatting. Sam decided to tackle them first as they would be easier and would be able to help her tell the others who would need more explaining and help to understand.

As Sam approached the bar she saw Tom, Tess, Noel and a couple of others who were all having a good chat and sharing a few jokes. Sam could feel herself getting all nervous about telling them as she felt guilty about ruining their night but it had to be done.

"Hey Sam!" Noel shouted as he spied her edging towards them. He moved over to make a space for her to sit down and join in but Sam just stood in front of the group and she could feel multiple sets of inquisitive eyes on her all wondering what she is going to say.

"Sam?" Tess asks turning in her seat to get a proper look at the young doctor. She could tell that something was wrong but she didn't know what.

"Sam?" Tess said again, "Are you okay? You look rather pale." Tess explained whilst she looked at Sam who was stood fiddling with her hands and look like she on the verge of bursting into tears.

"No, I'm not okay and there is something that I need to tell you," Sam explained as she saw the small huddle in front of her turn and look at her more seriously. "Nick's just called me from the hospital. Dixie has taken a turn for the worst." Sam explained not sure what to say now. She peered round at Tess and Noel and saw the upset in their faces but that was nothing compared to Tom's face. He was obviously still beating himself up about it and blaming himself.

"Is she going to be okay?" Noel asks shakily but Sam was unable to answer and just merely shrugged her shoulders as that was all she was capable of doing.

"Nick said that you can head back over to the hospital for news there if you wish but it is up to you." Sam explained only just managing to keep herself together. "I'm going to go and tell the others over there." She said as she turned and began to walk over to the far corner of the dance floor.

"Sam, wait!" Someone shouted from behind her. She turned and saw the small figure of Tess hurrying towards her. "I'll help you tell them as they are going to be a bit of a handful to tell by yourself." Tess explained and the duo walked over to where Zoe, Linda and a few others were.

"Hey Sam! Tess" Are you coming to join in? Will make your night a whole lot exciting!" Zoe squealed as the pair approached the group who were busy dancing and doing funny dares in memory of Jeff.

"No, were not. Sorry." Sam said and she saw Zoe's excitement drain slightly but Sam wasn't bothered. Sam stepped into the middle of the group and looked round. "I need everyone's attention please as I have something important to tell you." Sam explained but it wasn't working well as Zoe and Linda were stood giggling at something causing people's attention to focus on them rather than Sam. Sam didn't know what to do as she was on the verge of breaking down but Tess stepped forward saving Sam.

"Did any of you listen to what Sam has just said?" Tess shouted causing heads to turn from every direction. Everyone in the ED knew that as soon as Tess started shouting that it was serious and that it's best just to listen to her rather than mess her about. "I want you all to put down your drinks and sober up as this is very important." People around began placing drinks on nearby tables and looked at each other confusingly wondering what on Earth could have happened as after all they were supposed to be celebrating.

Tess turned to Sam and whispered to her quietly. "Would you like to tell them or shall I? I don't mind either way." Tess explained quietly.

"Ermm...I'll do it, after all it was Nick who asked me to." Sam replied and she took a deep breath and pulled herself together. "Right, Dixie has taken a turn for the worst and might not make it. I have been told that you can go back to the hospital and wait for news there but that is your choice." Sam explained as she saw all the gobsmacked expressions around her and saw Zoe and Linda hugging each other tightly unable to let go. "If you do go back to the hospital, I suggest that you sober yourselves up a bit first please otherwise Mr Jordan might send you home."

Sam walked away and went and stood outside the pub doors to get some fresh air. She was glad that she didn't have to tell anyone else and she was so grateful to Tess for helping her. She decided to walk back into the pub to find Tess and saw her heading towards the door.

"Tess!" Sam shouted grabbing Tess' attention. "I just wanted to say thanks for helping me out back there. I couldn't have done it without you." Sam explained and she could tell that Tess understood how much it meant to her.

"You're welcome. It would have been unfair to ask you to do it all by yourself. Are you going back to the hospital?" Tess asked.

"Yes, I'm going now. You coming?" Sam asked kindly and Tess said that she was going to wait for Zoe and Linda to make sure that they sobered themselves up before heading back over so that they don't make a scene or anything. Sam walked out of the pub door and headed over the road to Holby City ED to see what news awaited her upon her arrival.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

Sam walked into the ED and headed towards the staff room but when she arrived, she found it empty. Obviously everyone on shift wanted to keep busy and the word hadn't got round to everyone off shift – either that or they preferred to wait at home for news.

Sam dumped her bag on the floor and decided to go up to Nick's office to see if there was any more news and to warn him about Zoe and Linda.

"Come in!" Nick shouted as Sam finished knocking on the door to his office. Sam walked in and closed the door behind her and she could tell from the atmosphere in Nick's office that he hadn't heard anything.

"Sam, I'm so sorry I made you tell everyone. I was going to get Zoe to do it but as you are probably aware, she is a bit worse for wear," Nick started to explain. "So you were the only other person I could think of as i wasn't sure how Tom would take it."

"Yeah, he's still beating himself up about it but I keep telling him that it's not his fault and he'll just have to begin accepting that." Sam said to Nick who was sat at his desk staring around the room. "Has there been any more news about Dixie yet?" Sam asked concerningly hoping that she wouldn't receive bad news.

"No change." Nick replied simply trying to hide his emotions. "I'm going to go up and see for myself in a few minutes if you want to join me."

"If you don't mind I think I'll pass. I don't think I could bare it and besides Tess will need some help when she arrives with Zoe and Linda as we are going to try and sober them up." Sam explained hoping that Nick wouldn't mind as the last thing Sam wanted was to witness something happen to another of her friends.

"It's fine Sam, I understand." Nick said softly before getting up from his chair and heading towards the door. "I'll tell her that you send her your love and that she is missing out on her drinks in the pub." Nick said managing a weak smile, trying to reassure her.

"Thanks Nick. I really hope she is okay and that she pulls through." Sam said only just managing to keep herself together.

"So do I Sam, so do I." Nick said quietly as he pulled the office door shut after him and walked towards the stairs leading to Dixie's ward leaving Sam to walk back to the ED alone and deep in thought about her memories with Dixie.

As Sam reached the bottom of the ED stairs she could hear a lot of high pitched squeals and giggles and she knew right away that is must be Zoe and Linda as no one else was anywhere near as drunk as them two. Sam turned and looked down the corridor and saw the pair staggering about trying to hold each other up right as Tess tried her best to guide the drunken duo into the staff room.

"Tess! Would you like some help there?" Sam asked as she was still feeling extremely grateful to Tess for helping her out in the pub.

"Please!" Tess replied and Sam hurried over to them just in time to Linda who was just about to tumble to the floor.

"Haha, look who it is!" Linda shouted completely unaware of where she is and the fact that she had almost just fallen over. "Have you come to join us on our amazing night? Would you be able to get me another drink as I've lost mine?" Linda asked before looking around and giggling again and Sam was beginning to get a bit annoyed already.

"The only drinks you two will be having is water followed by a cup of coffee to try and sober you up Nick gets down here with news about Dixie." Sam explained before letting go of Linda and placing her on the sofa next to Zoe who were now in fits of giggles over how hot they thought Nick was.

Tess turned and looked at Sam. "Is there anymore news about Dixie yet?" Tess asked worriedly but Sam just shook her head.

"Nick has gone upstairs now to see for himself but he hasn't came back yet." Sam explained before walking off to get two large glasses of water and placing them into Zoe and Linda's hands and watching to make sure that they drank it, acting like they were big kids.

The door to the staff room opened and Sam and Tess' eyes both turned to see if it was Nick but it was Noel and Tom both returning to wait for news. They sat down on the other end of the sofa in silence, not making a sound at all.

After waiting for what seemed like hours, Zoe and Linda finally began to sober up and understand the seriousness of what was going on. Everyone sat there huddled onto the sofa waiting for news but it didn't come.

"This is ridiculous!" Sam finally shouted causing several people around her to jump out of their skins. "I'm going to go upstairs to try and find Nick and ask for news. If he arrives down here, tell someone to page me okay?" Sam explained and Tess nodded her approval and Sam left the room to go in search of Nick and news about Dixie as she couldn't bare the tension of waiting any longer.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

Sam made her way up to the post-op ward hoping to find Nick there. She pushed open the double doors and made her way over to the reception desk there to find out where about Dixie was.

"Hello, can I help you?" Asked a youngish looking woman sitting behind the reception desk. She was busy looking at the computer screen whilst frantically typing something out. She clicked the button on her mouse and turned to look at Sam.

"Sam made her way up to the post-op ward hoping to find Nick there. She pushed open the double doors and made her way over to the reception desk there to find out where about Dixie was.

"Hello, can I help you?" Asked a youngish looking woman sitting behind the reception desk. She was busy looking at the computer screen whilst frantically typing something out. She clicked the button on her mouse and turned to look at Sam.

"Yeah, I'm looking for Dixie? I mean Kathleen Dixon." Sam said correcting herself. It felt weird to call Dixie by her first name as everyone knew her by her nickname. Even the name badge on her work uniform said Dixie. Sam stood and waited whilst the woman typed in her name and looked to see where she was on the ward.

"She's in one of the side rooms just down this corridor here," The woman explained whilst pointing to a long looking corridor on her right. "If you walk down there you'll come across room 103 and she should be in there unless she has gone for a scan." The woman said and she returned to whatever it was she was doing on the computer.

Sam left the desk and began walking down the corridor and the further and further down she got the quicker her pace got. She was desperate to get some news about her friend. As she turned walked round a slight bend in the corridor she eventually saw room 103. Sam was about to barge into the room and demand to know what was going on but decided against it, especially since her boss could be in there and she didn't think he would be overly impressed with a member of his team behaving like that. Instead, Sam knocked on the door and stood patiently waiting until she saw the handle turn and saw the familiar figure of Nick Jordan opening the door.

"Sam! What are you doing here?" Nick said sounding half angry and half pleased. However, Sam didn't answer straightaway as she was busy taking in the sight of the surroundings around her. She could see the extremely pale and weak looking figure of Dixie on a bed with wires attached to her everywhere. There were doctors and nurses hurrying about after her, administrating drugs to her, pumping oxygen into her lungs and trying to start her heart again. Sam knew what was happening as she saw this scene every day at work and recognised the agonising continuous bleep coming from the monitors around Dixie's bed.

"Oh my God," Sam said under her breath as she stared at the distressing scene in front of her. She couldn't believe that this was happening. Not today. Everyone had been through enough already today without this.

Both Sam and Nick were unable to speak as the tension in the room was horrendous. They just stood and stared open mouthed at what was happening, unable or unwilling to take it in. Minutes past and nothing in the room had changed except that tears had began rolling down Sam's pale cheeks and noticeable tears were beginning to well in Nick's eyes.

Suddenly, a doctor at Dixie's side began speaking but neither Sam or Nick could register exactly what he was saying as they were too shocked but then they heard the one thing that they didn't want to hear.

"Time of death 21:11." The doctor said softly before turning to switch of the monitor causing the whole room to go silent. The doctor began walking over to Nick and Sam.

"I am so sorry but there was nothing else we could have done for her. Her body had shut down and it was like she had just given up. I'm sorry." The doctor said before walking over to the door and holding it open so that the other nurses and doctors could leave the room to give the pair a moment in peace.

When they heard the door shut Sam gave up holding herself together and just slid down the wall into a crumpled heap on the floor, tears falling uncontrollably from her eyes. Nick however stood frozen to the spot, unable to move. Thoughts were swirling about in his head making him feel sick. But one thought stuck in his head more than any other. How on Earth was he going to tell the others?


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

Moments passed and the only noise in the room was the sound of Sam's sobs which seemed to echo off the four walls causing them to fill Nick's ears and make him feel even more sick. He stared at the pale figure on the bed and couldn't believe that she had gone. Nick had always classed Dixie as being a fighter and thought that she would let nothing get in her way but obviously the crash and losing Jeff was just too much for her.

Nick moved his gaze from the bed over to Sam who was slumped on the floor with her head in her arms crying. He knew that Sam was on the verge of breaking down yet he still asked her to tell the others. He walked over and sat down next to Sam on the floor and brushed away her hair from her eyes. She slowly lifted her head and looked at Nick with her devastated eyes.

"Why did this have to happen?" Sam said quietly as she looked at the figure of Dixie. She got up and moved over to the bed and looked at her face. Sam thought that it just looked like she was asleep and was expecting her to wake up any moment with a big grin on her face saying that it was all a huge prank but she had to keep telling herself that that wasn't going to happen.

"I don't know Sam but just think, she is going to be with Jeff up there now." Nick said softly whilst looking up as if trying to see the duo. "They will be able to rest in peace together and no matter what happens up there, they can help each other through it."

Sam sat in the seat next to the bed and picked up Dixie's hand. She wasn't extremely close to Dixie but they were really good friends and Sam didn't know how she was going to get through this. She had already lost a good friend in Jeff and now Dixie.

"I don't want them to be up there together, I want them to be together down here!" Sam said hysterically as she laid herself across Dixie's body as if trying to stop her from going.

"Hey, hey!" Nick said as he got up and walked to Sam where he put his arm around her to comfort her. "I know this is extremely difficult but we will get through this." Nick said, trying to calm Sam down but he could see that this wasn't working.

"Difficult? Difficult! That's a complete understatement!" Sam shouted causing Nick to back away from Sam as he had never seen Sam act like this and didn't know what she was going to do next. "You weren't there at the scene having to see Dixie in a complete state and having to treat Jeff unconscious in a stuffy ambulance cab. You didn't have to help make the decision on who goes to hospital first, having to put the lives of two of your greatest friends and colleagues in your hands knowing that if something goes wrong it will affect your own life as well as everyone else's." Sam ranted leaving Nick just stood there gobsmacked, unable to say or do anything.

"You didn't have to sit with Jeff in the back of the ambulance knowing that as soon as he got to hospital that there was a small chance he would survive. You didn't know what it was like in the pub having to end everyone's celebrations by telling them that Dixie was taking a turn for the worst. You trying telling that to a group of drunk people because it isn't easy!" Sam carried on shouting. "Yet you turn around and say that this is difficult? You really don't have any idea." Sam said and before Nick could get the opportunity to say anything Sam turned around and walked out of the room.

Nick's entire body just dropped into the chair by Dixie's bed as he was in so much shock at what Sam had just said that he could no longer support himself. He had not expected all of that to come out of Sam's mouth and he had no idea what to do about it. He looked over at Dixie and apart from her broken leg you wouldn't know that she had been in a crash, she really did just look like she was asleep. Nick sat there for a moment just thinking about everything that had happened when he spied two clear bags underneath the bed. Jeff and Dixie's belongings.

Nick leant over and got the bags and emptied the contents onto the bed: keys, spare change, old receipts, a photo of the two of them and little Abs and a photo of two children who Nick claimed to be John and Sophie – Jeff's two children. How they were going to miss their Dad. Nick knew that a few problems had raised with them over the past few months but he knew that they would still miss him no matter what.

After a few moments, Nick placed all the belongings carefully into the bags again and got up making sure to pick up the bags and walked over towards the door. He opened the door and was about to step out but before he did he took one last look at Dixie who was laid peacefully in the bed and Nick was sure that there was a smile on her face as if to say that this is what she wanted as she was now with Jeff and could continue being with him.

The door shut quietly behind Nick as he made his way back down the corridor to the stairs to where he made his way back down to the ED to tell the others the news but he knew that it was going to be the worst time of his life and he was absolutely petrified about telling them.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

Nick entered the ED and made his way over to the staff room and as he peered through the window in the door he could see that once again many people were huddled inside awaiting information. He knew he couldn't put off telling them any longer so he opened the door and stepped inside. The whole room fell silent around him but before Nick entered the room properly he placed the two bags underneath the table next to the door before people noticed and as to not cause distractions.

"Please tell us she is okay!" Nick heard someone shout but he couldn't work out who it was so he carried on walking towards the crowd of people. He could feel all the anxious eyes looking up at him as he walked past before stopping at the edge of the room so that everyone could see him. Nick really didn't know how to tell everyone but he knew he had to just go for it so he took a deep breath and off he went.

"Err...I am so sorry everyone but Dixie didn't make it," Nick said softly as he saw people around him crumble into pieces and once again the staff room was full of sobs but this time the atmosphere and sobs were much more intense as it was the second colleague and friend that had been lost. "Dixie's body was just shutting down on her and she couldn't fight anymore but..." Nick started but was unable to carry on as a single tear rolled down his face. Nick had never got emotional in front of his staff – well everyone except Zoe but he had always had a soft spot for her. He saw Zoe getting up and walk over towards him and they just stood there and hugged as everyone else in the room comforted one another.

After several minutes of tears, hugs and shock, Nick finally pulled himself back together and carried on with what he was saying. "I know all of you will be affected by this sudden death just like you all were with Jeff but at least they are back together up there now so beware as they will be constantly watching us trying to cheer us up when we are down, smiling when we are happy and will no doubt make their presence felt when we are feeling lonely. I have never know such a good couple both in and outside of work – they were just amazing – and will be truly missed." Nick concluded before people began clapping and shouting farewell messages to Jeff and Dixie.

Whilst this was going on Nick thought it would be the best opportunity that he was going to get to escape so that he could go and find Sam. He had a feeling that she would be outside trying to compose herself and as he walked out of the red automatic doors and looked around, he spied her sitting on a bench by herself. Nick walked over to her and sat down on the bench.

"Nick I am so sorry about what I..." Sam started but Nick raised his hand and Sam stopped mid sentence.

"Sam, don't worry about it. It's been a tough time for everyone but especially for you and Tom as you were with them from when it all started and I don't blame you for letting out all your emotions like that as it can't have been easy to keep them all bottled up." Nick said and he could that Sam was beginning to stop crying and pull herself together.

"Thanks for that Nick." Sam said as she turned to look at Nick who looked as bad as she felt. "Are you sure that your okay?" Sam asked concerningly and Nick turned to face her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Nick said as he got up and began walking back to the ED but he stopped half way and turned round. "Are you coming or are you staying out here by yourself forever?" Nick asked with a smile on his face. Sam got up and jogged to catch up with him and the pair entered the ED and went back to the staff room.

When they got there, Sam went and joined the others who were all sat discussing what they were going to miss the most about Jeff and Dixie and Nick was about to go and join them when he remembered about the bags. He knelt down and picked them up and walked towards everyone.

"Are they their belongings?" Tess asked and Nick nodded his head. "What are you going to do with them?"

"Not sure yet," Nick said. "Will probably have to give them to their next of kin's so I'm just going to put them over here for safe keeping." Nick said whilst opening a cupboard door and placing the items in so that he knew where they would be for when he needed them.

"Right everyone. I know that some of you have just returned from the pub but I'm going to take you all back over there and we are all going to raise our glasses to the super paramedics Jeff and Dixie and have a good night in their memory." Nick said and with that people began to collect their belongings again and headed back over the road to the pub.

"To Jeff and Dixie, the greatest paramedics that Holby City ever had!" Shouted Nick as everyone around him echoed these words. "We will never forget you!" And with that people began doing crazy things in their honour and remembered the good old times that will remain with people forever.

**Well that's it! I hope you all enjoyed it as I certainly enjoyed writing it even though I did feel mean about killing off both Jeff and Dixie. I would just like to say a special thanks to HermioneLumos, BeethovenRIP and Sarahloulabellx for their dedication to reviewing this story after every update and giving me the encouragement to carry on writing. Look out for my other stories as I have a few in line and just thanks again! x**


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